a world where anything is possible.

shirt from forever 21, makeup from sugar pill, heavenly naturals

I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see.
I'm going to show them a world without you.
A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries.
A world where anything is possible.
Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.
~The Matrix (1999)

Just another day for me. I spent most of the nights of this week not sleeping and just bumming and doing homework.

I've also decided for the past couple weeks to start working out and keeping a food diary. I feel like the emo-ness of keeping a food diary has always kept me from actually doing it, but at the way that I stress eat and the way that I avoid exercise, I think it needs to be done. While doing my make up this morning I was thinking to myself that I work so hard to make sure my eyes and face look nice but I don't seem to care about my body. I eat badly and in large portions or sometimes not at all, I never exercise and when I do I get so sore that it scares me from doing it again, I constantly have self esteem issues about my weight and have for a long time, and I have no self control. Of course, I have tried to diet and lose weight before but it was always to no avail. I can honestly say that I have never had a time when I lost a bunch of weight only to put it back, typically I have gained weight consistently and depressingly.

Anyways, with that decided I thought maybe I should compose a different blog about my food/exercise adventures. At first, I considered Tumblr, but then I realized that with Tumblr I get distracted way too easily and would more likely spend my time looking at photos than blogging. I also considered Twitter but that seemed way too public. Finally, I just settled on another blogger, one where I can put my food/exercise journal daily. I will bring it up soon when I figure out a name for it.