music to my soul.

When I have papers to work on, or time I need to study and basically buckle down, it helps to have music that has basically no lyrics and a calming effect. Though I have listened to Figaro in order to do chemistry and it actually works quite well, so you should try it. Anyways my basic list for music when I'm studying is to go on pandora and look up the playlists to Yann Tiersen, Michelle Mclaughlin, and Explosions in the Sky. Basically if it goes good with Rainymood.com, I'm golden.

personal wishlist.

After months of job searching and living off my parents dime, I may actually have a shot at a job. I'm hoping I'll be able to get a job. Because of my short memory and love of making lists, I have made a list of what I will do when I get my money. Other than spending it on makeup and nail polish (which is typically what I blow it on) there are other things that I have my eyes on.

• Note Slate http://noteslate.com
• Nikon/Canon EOS Digital camera (must look more into this)
• iTouch (my iPod is like 5 years old, I need a new one)

In regards to using my money, I have several plans. For this summer, I will primarily be doing summer school for most of June. Then at the end of June, I plan to go on a Food Adventure with my best friends and we will be going along the California coast and just eating our hearts out. After that, my best friend will be coming and we will be hopefully roadtripping to Portland. Then coming back to Phoenix we'll both go together to San Diego for Comic-Con (which I also need to pay my friend back for).

cosmetic candy land.

photo credit: mac cosmetics

I've often heard men say that they like women without makeup on or heavy layers of makeup on, and they wonder why women spend so much time in the mirror doing their makeup. I know a fair amount of men who find women who pack on the layers of foundation and mascara to be fake and they would rather have a fresh face than a powdered one. Hence my confusion for women who put it on specifically for the men they try to ensnare. In my opinion the most insecure women are the ones who put on makeup specifically for men.

I applaud women who wear makeup for themselves. Women who sit in front of a vanity and think not to hide their beauty or fake their beauty but to accentuate and highlight their beauty. I think of color theory. I think of designs and shapes. I think of the fantastical and the mysterious. Makeup can transform. You can be a simmering seductress, an ethereal maiden, a dewy youth, or a high fashion model. It's not a false pretense but an adventure. It is opening a door to more possibilities.

For me, there is a certain mystique and beauty to makeup and cosmetics. It's sacred. There is nothing more confident to me than a woman who wears daring bold colors and designs on her face. It's modern war paint. It's art in motion. It's an expression of beauty. It's therapeutic and familiar. With smears and dabs of color we can be transported into a different world, a different time. Limitless colors and tools craft things that people can only dream of, bringing fantasy to life.

This was an incoherent ramble about makeup and my love for it. I simply can't understand people who don't see the beauty in cosmetics and rather only see it as something that objectifies women.

a world where anything is possible.

shirt from forever 21, makeup from sugar pill, heavenly naturals

I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see.
I'm going to show them a world without you.
A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries.
A world where anything is possible.
Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.
~The Matrix (1999)

Just another day for me. I spent most of the nights of this week not sleeping and just bumming and doing homework.

I've also decided for the past couple weeks to start working out and keeping a food diary. I feel like the emo-ness of keeping a food diary has always kept me from actually doing it, but at the way that I stress eat and the way that I avoid exercise, I think it needs to be done. While doing my make up this morning I was thinking to myself that I work so hard to make sure my eyes and face look nice but I don't seem to care about my body. I eat badly and in large portions or sometimes not at all, I never exercise and when I do I get so sore that it scares me from doing it again, I constantly have self esteem issues about my weight and have for a long time, and I have no self control. Of course, I have tried to diet and lose weight before but it was always to no avail. I can honestly say that I have never had a time when I lost a bunch of weight only to put it back, typically I have gained weight consistently and depressingly.

Anyways, with that decided I thought maybe I should compose a different blog about my food/exercise adventures. At first, I considered Tumblr, but then I realized that with Tumblr I get distracted way too easily and would more likely spend my time looking at photos than blogging. I also considered Twitter but that seemed way too public. Finally, I just settled on another blogger, one where I can put my food/exercise journal daily. I will bring it up soon when I figure out a name for it.

5 cosmetic can't live without's

all images courtesy of google images

So I've decided to add some purpose to this blog by periodically putting up what I like to call useless time-wasting lists of awesome. The first of these list series is 'Can't Live Without's' (aka CLWO), where I have five things I can't live without based on a theme, i.e. cosmetics.

5 Cosmetic Can't Live Without's:

1.  Schweppes Sparkling Pink Grapefruit Lip Balm SPF 15: This is by far my favorite lip product, I use it to prime my lips before putting on anything and despite its food based name it comes in an awesome classy tin that looks nothing like a lipbalm tin. The product is not too thick and not overwhelming in smell, in fact it does not smell like anything, but just a thin coat of it gives you a healthy gloss to your lips and also is quite moisturizing. For three bucks at Sephora I should have bought all of them.
   Cost $3 at Sephora
2. Vaseline: Despite the slightly sexual connotations that I get when I see the word Vaseline, I love it so much. During the winter, when my knuckles are peeling from wind damage from biking, a heavy coat of this petroleum jelly is the best. When my heels are dry and crackly, a glob of this and a full night of socks is just what it needs. During the summer, when I just need a natural cheek highlight for a day of swimming and fun, a thin layer on your cheekbones does wonders. Because it's 100% petroleum jelly, it's non-toxic and totally safe. It protects skin and is even a great makeup remover. I think I would die if I didn't have this with me wherever I went.
   Cost $1 at Target for the 1.75 oz
3. MAC Kohl Power Eye Pencil in Feline: I've heard good and bad things about this, but for a girl who has struggled with eyeliner all her life and loved it at the same time, this is my favorite eyeliner by far. It's the blackest black, which tends to my needs since my hair is a blackest black as well and I don't like charcoal liners which makes me feel weird. The formula is smooth and it applies like a dream. Anyone worried about smudging can take it from me, dab black eyeshadow on that sucker after you apply it to your waterline and you're good to go.
   Cost $14.50 at MAC
4. China Glaze Nail Laquer in Dorothy Who?: I have a lot of makeup and I can hands down say that this is my all time favorite nail polish. For some people it's hard to choose, for me it's not a question. I don't think I would care too much if I just replaced every single bottle I owned with this beautiful blue. My heart soared when it became a permanent in the line, especially since I didn't have to scour the internet to find it. I firmly believe this color looks great on anyone and it goes great with any nail length. It's girly but quirky but classy. Ok, after this, I'm applying a coat of it onto my nails.
   Cost $6.00 at Sally's or Ulta
5. Dental Floss: I used to hate flossing when I was a kid, but I can't get enough of it now. It may be because I no longer have dental insurance, but I have been taking care of my teeth so much lately, especially since I intake so much coffee, but I can't seem to stop flossing. Brushing no longer completes me like it did. I need floss as well. I guess my dentist can thank me the next time I have enough money to go see him again.
   Cost $1.25 at local drug store